Marill Re-Reads Worse Case Scenario 2: The Lion King Crossover
Here's the stats so far.
Exclaimed Count: 89
Muttered Count: 170
Motto Count: 8
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 3
This one should be short and sweet. Sweet for Season One anyway. This episode's half the size of Mirror Universes and is meant to be a bit of fun, so without further ado.
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It's Talent Night on Voyager. Cos on Fifth Voyager the one episode/season only events on the ship don't get forgotten about. Oh snap.
"Okay, who says that we should get Chakotay up here today!" Tom yelled.
"Stuff you, Paris," Chakotay muttered.
"Oh c'mon, Commander, for me," Tom said.
"I wouldn't even do it for the Captain if she ordered me to," Chakotay muttered.
Lol gullible Tom thinking that anyone would do something "for me." No Tom, until C/7 rears its disgusting head you are FV's butt monkey. Deal with it.
"Oh fine, Jessie, James, is your performance ready?" Tom asked.
"No chance," James muttered as he fiddled with his PADD.
Now is Talent Night an event everyone has to go to? Seems a bit rude to go to it and play on games, do homework or read... whatever the hell James was doing.
"Oh damn, nobody else has volunteered today. Hey Jess why don't you do a little dance for us," Tom said.
I... dunno if this is a sexist comment or not. Hey girl, it's talent night, dance baby. Or is Tom just insinuating she's stupid and that's all she'd do here? Though that's dancerist. I like dancing but I'm too dumb (and clumsy) to remember routines and stuff. Dancers=stupid is just as offensive.
BAD TOM ANYWAY!
He even asks Jessie twice. Unhealthy obsession. Tom's gotta be a lover for pain.
"How about making your teeth disappear, it's a real talent of mine," Jessie said.
"Er, never mind," Tom stuttered. Harry walked up to Tom.
"If that's all for today, I would like to make an announcement," Harry said.
"Ohno, it better not be another cheesy Irish Holoprogram," B'Elanna muttered.
INORITE!
"Er isn't this episode based in early season five?" Marill's voice asked.
"Yeah, so?" Firera's voice asked.
"Fair Haven wasn't until season six," Marill's voice said.
"I'm using the same excuse as you use, this is the Fifth dimension it's not meant to be the same as original Voyager. Harry and Tom built Fair Haven in this season," Firera's voice said.
"We can't keep getting away with that excuse," Marill's voice said.
1) Yep it is. So?
2) You're worried about fourth wall jokes now Marill, after the last episode? FU
3) HOLY CRAP FIRERA. ALL IS FORGIVEN. I DON'T CARE IF THAT FAIR HAVEN WAS MADE IN S5 EXCUSE WAS FLIMSY, IT'S BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE.
4) STFU MARILL. My only gripe with this method is the writers explaining it when it could easily be reworded and put into the actual scenes.
"No, it's that program that you found two years ago, you know the Marquis mutiny one. Tom and I finally wrote our own version of it," Harry said. A lot of people cheered.
A lot of people are clearly drunk.
Not because the Mutiny program was pants, it wasn't, it was the best. But because this is Tom and nobody respects him, and they know what his creative genius is like because apparently Fair Haven (and I imagine Captain Proton) already exists.
"Yeah, instead of Seska being one of the nastiest villains, we've programmed Jessie to be the most evil person in the program," Tom said. Jessie growled at him.
Being one of the nastiest villains.
Chakotay was the intended antagonist. Seska only became so when she fiddled with it. He wasn't meant to be nasty either. Nastiest villains. Most evil person in the program. Tom's so naive.
I do think it's perfectly fitting that Tom chose Jessie as the villain. The way she's treated him so far, I'd do the same in his place. I'd be daft enough to announce it even to her when I was younger, history backs me up there, but at Tom's age I'd know better than to tell her. I'd also make sure she couldn't play it, James too, he'd tell her. He's not a hacker yet so it's fine.
Kiara put her hand up.
"Yes, Kiara," Tom said.
"I don't like the idea of your crummy program, you suck!" Kiara said.
Yey, cutely rude toddler Kiara's back. Whenever she gets inserted to plots like Timeless and Mirror she's aged and loses her spark.
Anyway this is where a grownup would laugh off the cute little mite, and tell her she can play it if she wants when she's older. Move on, you know. Does Tom do this? Does he hell. It's Fifth Voyager, FV doesn't care about kids and likes to force annoying/bad Tom on you every chance it gets.
"You don't mean it," Tom said.
"I do! Even I could make a better program than you," Kiara said.
"You go girl," Jessie said.
"No you couldn't, you're only a little brat," Tom said. Kiara ran out of the room crying. Naomi followed her.
Yeah. I think I've said this before. Don't have kids Tom. Yes she was rude but really, she's ONE. It's amazing she can say full sentences. Daddy doesn't exactly do much to tell her off for the rude comments. Tom being rude back and Jessie's cheering are the only responses she gets to it. She doesn't know any better. How can she? Look at me, defending a kid. Sigh.
"TOM!" Chakotay yelled.
"Uhoh!" Tom said and he ran out of the room.
Yeah, bit late daddy. Were you snoozing?
"Don't worry Commander, the Tom exterminator is on the move," Jessie said and she followed him.
Lol
James shook his head and he slowly followed
Hahaha nice. I imagine him slowly shuffling out after her, staring at the PADD. Probably thinking "not this again, oh well." It's a habit now.
Chakotay behind him. Everyone rushed out of the room as well.
"That's all for today, folks," Harry said to an empty room.
Already off to a good start. My gripes weren't that big.
"When did this ship become a battlezone?" Kathryn asked as she read the PADD. Kiara was still crying, on the sofa.
Since Aggressions Part 2. It hasn't been pretty.
Poor Kiara. I'm serious. As said before, Kiara's been mostly encouraged or had similar attitude back when she dishes out very kiddie insults "you suck". Then out of the blue a grown man calls her a brat for it. Yeah yeah defending the kid again, I do have a soft spot for her though.
"Ever since Fifth Voyager started, those writers think it's more fun if Jessie beats up Tom now," Chakotay replied.
Yeah see, Chakotay knows the score. And basically tells the readers the Kiara brat line was an excuse for Jessie to exterminate.
Except it's not true here, it's to kick off the plot. Duh!
"Right now I don't, what duty should we put him on this time?" Chakotay asked.
"None, I think somebody should finally beat him at his own game. Kiara," Kathryn said.
Kiara walked up to the desk still crying. "How would you like to make your own holoprogram?" Kathryn asked.
I dunno, I can totally see Janeway doing something like this. She's pretty damn vicious sometimes.
"YEY! I'd luv to, can I write one about Voyager too?" Kiara asked.
"You wouldn't be able to get Tom back if you didn't," Kathryn said.
"YEY! I'll go now!" Kiara exclaimed.
YEY
"Wait, Tom was right about one thing, you're too young to make your own," Chakotay said.
"She won't need to start one from scratch, she'll be using Tom's program to help her," Kathryn said.
Gahahaha, was this episode created before the one in Season Seven? The one where Tom rewrites Doc's story that made the Voyager crew out to be awful (another reason the Doctor fell from my 2nd favourite character to 2nd least above Seven. S7 Doc screwed over his friends at least 3 times/episodes). Or rather, did I see it before writing this? It'd be neat if I didn't, I don't remember being inspired by it.
The reboot was inspired a tad with the introduction to the program scenes. Doesn't mean the original was.
"Has anyone been in his program yet?" Kathryn asked.
"No, he just announced it ten minutes ago," Chakotay replied.
"If Kiara reprograms it, then..." Kathryn said.
"I get it, I'll totally show him up! Hehehe! Can I do what I want with it?" Kiara asked.
Come on, you gotta admit. This is a fun idea for an episode. Yes Tom's edits to Doc's program were loltastic, except for the creepy drugging of Seven (WTF TOM - I can't wait till my favourite reviewer gets to this part. He'll rightly rip it a new one), but here we have a kid with Janeway genes on the case. Potential, this is Worse Case 2.
"Yeah, but you'll need help. He'll have that program encrypted. Chakotay which member of your old crew is the best at cracking codes?" Kathryn asked.
Lol no one on your crew are capable of this. Nice. You'd think by now Janeway would know about a hacker on the ship, and used his talents for anything during the five years. She has to ask. So we can get this interesting reveal about James, one episode after he stood there and watched Jessie mess about with Seventh Voyager's shields. Sigh.
"It would have to be James, though Jessie is a bit more sneaky," Chakotay replied.
"Jessie is the one who keeps attacking Tom now, she'll take this little holo reprogramming thing a little to far," Kathryn said.
SPOILERS: Tom dies a lot in hilarious ways.
"Don't worry, I'm sure James will be able to stop her from doing anything too stupid," Chakotay said.
Yes he's practically a pro by no.... pffthahahahahahahaha!
I only remember one time he tried, and that's an episode yet to come and I only remember it because I rebooted it recently. Sorry present tense, rebooting. I should be doing that instead of this.
"Okay then, Kiara how would you like to work with them?" Kathryn asked.
"They seem quite nice and they did save my life once, okay," Kiara replied.
Well Jessie did, I'm sure the one liners really saved your neck. Note, most of the cute Kiara scenes with Jessie and James (and that horrid uncanon one in the episode T) were not written yet. So yes, her "they seem nice" comment looks off for a good reason.
"You surprised me, I never thought you would punish a crewman by making a one year old girl embarrass them," Chakotay said.
"Lets just say, it's the only way to get through to Tom, and quite frankly he deserves it," Kathryn said.
Yikes, Janeway really didn't take to Fair Haven Michael in this series, did she? Though maybe Bride of Chaotica's already happened. YEAH TOM, PREPARE TO BE HUMILIATED
Jessie walked in to the quarters. She went to knock on James' door but it was already open. She nearly fainted, he was cleaning up the Mess (with a capital letter).
GEE THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT
But lol at this image of Jessie looking faint while James folds some t-shirts.
"What are you trying to do, kill me?" Jessie said.
"No, I thought that I could tidy my room once a week just like my step father used to force me to do," James said.
"Who told you to do that?" Jessie asked.
"No one, the Mess was turning into an accident waiting to happen," James said.
You did, five episodes ago. OH YEAH MEMORY LOSS. Oh well.
"Well it's about time you cleaned it up, anyway Kiara's coming over. She said that she's got an idea on how to get Tom back," Jessie said.
"Whatever," James muttered. Jessie walked back out of the room, still in shock. The door chimed.
I'm starting to think James is a bit off in this episode, in a bad mood or something? "Whatever" and the padd staring. Oh and the Mess cleaning.
"Come in," Jessie said. Kiara walked in with a big grin on her face. "Gee, it must be a good plan, c'mon spill it," Jessie said.
"Remember when I said I could make a better program than Tom's yesterday?" Kiara asked.
JESSIE MUST BE ON THE EDGE OF HER NO SEAT
"Yeah, that's when Chakotay yelled at him for calling you a brat," James said as he stepped out of his room.
OUCH. OLD WOUNDS RE-OPENED. James don't have kids.
I can see this becoming a theme.
Seriously, he's a grouch in this episode. She didn't need reminding and neither did the readers.
"It'll show him up all right, wait your mother told you to do this?" James said.
"Yeah, even she's getting sick of his stupid programs," Kiara said.
"Well at least we won't get wrong for it," James said.
Since when do you care about that?
"What are you going to do to it?" Jessie asked. Kiara whispered a bunch of stuff in her ear.
"C'mon, what did she say?" James asked frantically.
"All you've got to know is that this is going to be fun," Jessie said happily.
Welp, now we'll never know what had been shoved up James' bum. Lol. He's ok now.
Probably.
Craig and Harry walked into the room laughing their heads off. Tom walked up to them.
"What's so funny, guys?" he asked.
"So that's that secret thing you were going to do to that program, huh Tom! It's really funny!" Harry laughed.
Oh, clever or lucky. Tom had a secret bit to his program he didn't even tell Harry. Can't have Tom finding out yet, can we? The longer he doesn't know, the funnier it is.
"Yeah, Jessie really looks like an evil villain," Tom laughed.
"What's he talking about?" Craig asked.
SHHH CRAIG, YOU'LL RUIN IT
"Er...Tom you already told me that part. I'm talking about that secret bit you were planning," Harry said.
"Oh the aliens in the program, yeah they're pretty scary aren't they?" Tom asked.
Snicker. This is why you don't change everything in the program, Tom can't twig if the aliens have been altered into something funny. The original probably works better than the reboot in this regard.
(Though the bit with Harry shouting at Tom for their love scene, but Tom thinks he's talking about his original "OBEY ME MINIONS" bridge scene, works brilliantly. "I can't believe you think of me like that Tom!" "Harry, everyone's noticed. I write what I see." I know you shouldn't laugh at your own work, but I do, I was in tears writing this scene).
"Aliens, you call them aliens!" Craig laughed and he and Harry walked away from a puzzled Tom.
SERIOUSLY CRAIG. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Meanwhile Jessie, James and Kiara were laughing at the scene they witnessed.
"What did you put instead of those aliens, Kiara?" James asked.
"Teletubbies," Kiara replied.
But in a good way :P
"Hey that is still scary," Jessie joked.
You're not wrong!
"So have you got anymore adjusting to do?" James asked.
"Of course, we've got the best part coming up," Kiara said as she opened her bag. She pulled out a data PADD. Jessie and James peered at it. It was a picture of a video cover and some information on the film.
Because this certain film was only ever released on VHS. I don't have the DVD or anything.
"I've seen that film, it's perfect," Jessie said.
"Cool, when do you want to do it?" James asked.
"Tonight, ten people have made reservations to go into the program tomorrow," Jessie replied.
It is surprisingly perfect. I wanted to do more with it. But that's ok, that's what Upendi's for.
"God, Tom will have a ball when those people tell the rest of the crew about the program," James laughed.
"Yeah, and Tom said that I couldn't make a holoprogram?" Kiara giggled.
In sync: "mwahahahahahahahahaha"
B'Elanna walked out of the holodeck in tears. The program was the best one she had ever been in. It was like a proper film she thought. Tom had really outdone himself this time. She bumped into Craig.
Probably because it was a film.
Oh god Craig, sshhhhhh! Ooops Tom's not there, we're cool.
"Are you going in that new program?" B'Elanna asked.
"Yeah, James told me that Tom's changed it again," Craig said.
OH YEAH THAT'S NOT FISHY IN THE SLIGHTEST. LIKE JAMES WOULD USE ANY OF TOM'S PROGRAMS TO KNOW THIS. THIS PROGRAM HAS JESSIE AS THE VILLAIN. JAMES WOULDN'T SCREW HER OVER LIKE THAT BY PLAYING IT. Craig probably wouldn't think of this, but B'Elanna definitely should, knowing the J/J crew and Tom well enough.
I don't care, Worse Case 2's one of my favourite Season One episodes. Even Re-Reads can't take this away from me.
"He certainly has, it's great, it's like a love story and an adventure all in one," B'Elanna said.
"Cool, I'm in," Craig said and he walked into the holodeck.
They should put that on the box. Next to "OMG SCARY ALIENS. I NEARLY POOPED MYSELF - Random Youtube Reviewer" and "This program hasn't got any benefit scroungers or Labour people in it, how can I write a review. Maybe I'll screencap it and type the text on the screencaps. There done. What, is this thing still on? - Daily Mail".
"Cool, it worked, Jess, she'll tell the whole senior staff about 'Toms' Program," James said.
"I can't wait to see everyone's faces, Tom will be the laughing stock of the whole ship," Jessie laughed.
B'Elanna's gonna be in the doghouse for a while, me thinks.
Ladies and gentlemen. It's time.
INSURRECTION: Not the one with the joystick and blowing ships up with Enterprise farts, the Movie/Holodeck Program
Inside the holodeck, one hour later:
"No, Seska. She's right," Jessie said. She and James walked over to the Captain and Chakotay's side where the Starfleet people were."Enough," James said. The Marquis looked shocked and they started to discuss it.
GASP
"If you are part of their group, then you'll die as well," Seska said evilly. The rest of the Marquis and Craig walked away from her side of the upper deck of Engineering and they joined Jessie and the rest of the Federation officers. "Where are you going, get back here!" Seska yelled.
This is too realistic to be funny. The only thing it's missing is her smirking and saying things like "stop defending yourself, it's really traitorous, I don't like it. I HATE YOU"
"Let it go Seska, it's time to put the past behind us," Chakotay said.
"I'll never let it go," Seska said.
Close enough. Cue music.
The next few minutes is Seska singing the anti version of Let It Go, while dancing around Engineering and making the core do pretty fire effects. By the time she's finished everyone's asleep.
No not really, this was 2001.
The mini viewscreen activated and to everyone's amusement the teletubbies were on it.
"We are the Teletubbie collective, surrender or you will fall at the hands of the baby sun," all of the teletubbie's said. The baby sun above them just giggled, as usual.
This is a better joke anyway *slams the door*
"It's worse than we thought! I'm scared!" Tom screamed. Everyone laughed at him including Seska, even Tuvok laughed.
ME TOO TOM
Suddenly the Teletubbie ship blew up when another ship attacked them. The viewscreen changed to show a group of rabbits.
THE HORROR
"We are the rabbits, bwhahahaha! We will destroy you!" a stupid voice laughed. The rabbits had machine guns and grenades in their hands. Everyone laughed again and Tom screamed.
"I want my mummy!" he screamed.
Suddenly Damien appears and demands a copy of this. Remember him?
"Oh this is getting tiring," Seska said.
LIES
She pressed some controls on the console and the rabbit ship blew up. The explosion was too close to Voyager and the shockwave hit them violently. A plasma fire started at the base of the warp core.
Neelix is gonna have flashbacks of the time he killed a dude. REMEMBER THAT?
"I still have control of Voyager, and there's nothing you can do about it," Seska said evilly and she raised her weapon at the Starfleet officers. "Chakotay, if I still didn't love you I would kill you, so I'll do what I've always wanted to do...kill that wimpy Jessie," Seska laughed.
YEAH. WHAT?
Oh yeah, the Seska grudge against her and maybe James was mentioned in Hunters.
She got ready to fire when James quickly ran up to her and tried to take the rifle of her.
Did Kiara decide this, or did James? Jessie?
I think I speechified this before but, why did anyone program this in? Kiara doesn't know Seska come to think of it, so her grudge being mentioned will be James or Jessie's idea. The movie this scene is based on, the villain tries to kill the king and his daughter dives in the way instead. Did Kiara not want a badass re-enactment of her saving her dad, who also has Seska history, exactly like the movie? Why James and Jessie?
NITPICKY
The struggle caused them to fall over the balcony. They both grabbed a hold of the glass. Seska was slipping but James was lucky enough to climb back onto the balcony. Everyone ran up to the balcony edge.
Reboot rightly changes this to Jessie, because ffs, Jessie would rather fight her than James. It's not really a flaw, B4FV1 didn't exist and the backstory already hinted at probably wasn't fully developed yet.
James held out his hand to Seska. "C'mon Seska, give me your hand, we'll help you," he said. She tried to hit him with the rifle but it just caused her to lose her grip and she fell into the plasma fire.
"SESKA. GIVE ME YOUR PAW!"
"SESKA COME ON. I'LL HELP YOU."
(Press here for creepy deleted scene) *presses*
SESKA CACKLES. A DERANGED GRIN FORMS ON HER FACE, "NO! NEVER!" LETS GO ON PURPOSE AND FALLS MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT AND FACIAL EXPRESSION UNTIL DEATH.
JAMES STARES IN SHOCK, PROBABLY THINKING "HOLY S$$$, I THOUGHT THIS WAS DISNEY. SHE COULDN'T JUST SLIP ACCIDENTALLY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS? DAMN! NIGHTMARES FOREVER!"
Oops spoiled it.
Seriously the deleted scenes for this film were f$$$$ up. I wish they'd finish them and chuck them into a director's cut. They won't. I know, I made my peace.
"If we don't stop that fire it'll destroy the ship," Kathryn said. Craig decided to do something in the program so he ran over to the console. The fire went out.
Haha I love the lack of interaction needed from the player in this. It's meant to be like that, not an error.
"Good job, James, crewman," Chakotay said.
"Thanks Commander," Craig said happily. Everyone cheered.
Yay I did a thing.
The narrator started talking again. The narrator being that old monkey that's in both Lion King films, who always seems to be on drugs.
IN UPENDI, WHERE THE WEIRD S$$$ GOES ON.
WHO CARES IT'S CATCHY AND MARILL'S THE ONLY ONE CRAZY ENOUGH TO LIKE IT.
"The Marquis and Starfleet officers finally sorted out their differences thanks to their great leaders. As the song goes, We Are One. Nah that's not my song so it's crap, my song is Upendi. Welcome to Upendi! Heheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee!" the monkey, Rafiki, yelled. Somebody picked up Seska's rifle and he shot the monkey. Everyone cheered.
Aaaw. Upendi's greatly underrated, it's ridiculous. If they toned down the animation during it, it'd be more well liked I think.
"THE END," the computers voice said.
Engineering disappeared and the hologrid replaced it. Craig walked out of the program.
Well time to read the forums and trivia section on IMDB. See people complaining about a woman being the villain, another topic about the monkey being hot, a stray one about Hunger Games being a Battle Royale rip off. Despair at humanity and find something else to do. What, only I do this?
All of the senior staff were in their seats. Since Kiara, Triah and Craig were now main characters... er I mean senior staff, more chairs had been put in the room. Everyone kept smirking when they looked at Tom.
God, that Conference Room's gonna get so crowded in Season Three. Better get a second Conference Room... and ship. Cough.
"As we all know, Tom has made this, brilliant, program about a Marquis mutiny, quite a few people have used it and the news about what happens in it has been spread throughout the ship. Congratulations Tom," Kathryn said as she tried to keep a straight face.
"Thanks Captain, due to the success of the last one I request that we do another talent night this month," Tom said, unaware that James and Jessie were giggling uncontrollably at him.
Oh you two little scamps. What am I going to do with you?
"Er, Captain I need help with my new holoprogram, it's about a poor family winning a lot of money but it makes them rich snobs. I was wondering who could help me with it," Harry said.
Why do I get the feeling this is taking the piss out of some UK show at the time?
"If that is all, everyone is dismissed," Kathryn said. Everyone stood up and they walked out. Craig stopped Tom.
HAHA DENIED. POOR HARRY
"Hey nice program, it's hard to believe that you programmed it," Craig said.
"What do you mean?" Tom asked.
SHHHH CRAIG, HOW MANY TIMES !!!
"You're really funny when the teletubbies and rabbits attacked, you were like a little kid," Craig laughed and he walked away. Tom looked puzzled and he started to walk though the Bridge. Everyone was smirking at him, especially Jessie and James. Tom knew something was going on.
Sigh Craig. To the naughty corner again.
"Insurrection One: The Lion King 2 Crossover. The Marquis of USS Voyager mutiny against Captain Janeway. Commander Chakotay objects to it so he decides to persuade his old Marquis friends, B'Elanna, Craig, Jessie and James to come to their senses. Meanwhile Voyager gets countless attacks from aliens called the Teletubbies, The Rabbits and The Pokémon. A sequel will be planned for this story, it's called Insurrection Two: The Jerry Springer Show," the computer voice said.
The whole episode should've been this, I'll admit.
Of course there was Pokémon. I'm surprised that wasn't shown.
"Who has tampered with the program parameters," Tom said angrily.
"Cannot comply, that information has been restricted," the computers voice said.
Probably Neelix. He doesn't do anything else.
Or Seven.
"You're right, Tom, someone has been tampering with your program, and they have done a very good job of it. The whole crew knows about the program and most of them have been in it and best of all they think you've programmed it. Let this be a lesson to you, dismissed," Kathryn said.
ICE COLD
"No, lets just say that I told three people to do it and I didn't have to order them to do it. Dismissed," Kathryn said.
Tom looked gob smacked as he left the room. Everyone saw his face and they laughed at him. As soon as he left the Bridge everyone stopped laughing. Jessie, James and Kiara hi-fived each other.
WALK OF SHAME
"Are we actually going to make that sequel?" Kiara asked.
"Why not, we can put Tom's name on that too," James said.
"What aliens should we put in that one?" Kiara asked.
"Digimon, Tweenies and... Banana's In Pyjamas. We could also have the return of the Teletubbies," Jessie replied.
Oh, this is so dated.
Yes make the sequel. Worse Case Scenario 3 should definitely replace Muse or World Domination. PLEASE
All three of them laughed as Tom still tried to figure out who reprogrammed his holonovel.
MwaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Well let's see how everything tallies up.
Negatives:
1) I missed it in the initial read through, but the part where Tom gloats about his awesome Jessie villain after Harry and Craig have tested it. Harry shrugs it off with a "yeah Tom I remember that." That would be first thing Jessie would insist they take out, right? Surely if it were gone he'd say something.
2) The brief writers cut in. Pointless, could've been briefly mentioned by the characters.
3) Reboot and Original B'Elanna never twigs that this program taking the piss out of Tom wasn't made by Tom. Harry probably should've noticed sooner too, though reboot version was too mad at him anyway. But hey, it's for the luls.
4) It really should have been Chakotay who Seska attacked, so it was still following the Lion King 2 story. I could see Kiara asking James to make her save her dad like her namesake did, even if it would be unbelievable and funny to imagine Seska being owned by a toddler. This program already had rabbits and teletubbies as villains so I doubt realism was what they were going for. Changing it to Jessie and James reeks of inserting them further into the story because I wanted them to be. Nope the reboot didn't fix this. After the events in B4FV, I merely changed it to Jessie who struggles with Seska. Since it's a season and a tad after the unresolved tension between her and Seska (she missed her chance in Worse Case 1), it's nice to have a little closure before its too late.
Original didn't have all that planned yet so, should've been Chakotay and Kiara in Simba and Kiara's place.
Positives:
1) I adore Jessie's teeth disappear joke/threat. Enough said.
2) Kiara tears Tom apart gloriously and the best he can come up with is "you brat". It works but she's one, so... yeah very impressive Tom.
3) Tom exterminator and James' bored reaction.
4) Janeway's plan seems in character and it's delicious.
5) We learn something about James which carries on for the rest of the series.
6) I made fun of it throughout but the fact that Craig's always the one to nearly blow the cover and yet doesn't until the end tickles me. SO CLOSE CRAIG.
7) Teletubbie Collective and The Rabbits. Better than Brannon Braga and Seventh Voyager any day of the week. Tom's reactions to them are hilarious.
8) Normally this would be a flaw in other episodes, but the copied lines from Lion King 2 fit in this. Kiara wanted the film inserted in the program, she's one (and not 15 like I was. I have no excuse) and probably didn't want it changed. The actual differences have been mentioned already. They were meant to be in the program before they added the Lion King edits.
9) All of the edits to the program seem like edits a kid would make. Characters from kids shows, a scene changed to follow a film she liked and it's no surprise she likes that film, her namesake's in it.
We have more positives than negatives, so the rating's gonna be tough. I usually minus a point from 10 for every negative, the positives bring a few points back but there's never that many. Doing it that way gives Worse Case a rating of 15/10. Nope. The logical way gave it only a 5/10 (9-4 basically, which wouldn't work for heavy critiqued episodes, they'd all be minuses). I never prepared for this. Sigh. I think the fairest way is to rank it compared to the rest of the season so far.
I think the episode at the very least is tied with the current 1st places Aggressions 1, Once Upon A Time and Unforgettable. Half of Worse's issues were minor. The biggies were the James showdown with Seska and the plot error with Jessie's exvillany not being spotted by Harry. After the recent painful read through's of Mirror Universes, Timeless and Test of Time, it's a relief to read an episode that doesn't want to make me self harm or delete every file beginning with "fv1-". It did what it was meant to do, didn't stray much, was funny in places to me, it was nice filler that obviously didn't take itself seriously which is better than an important episode doing this.
I considered this episode one of my favourites of Season One. I was worried about rereading it, thinking I'd find terrible things like previous eps. Unforgettable for example wasn't as good as I remembered. I can safely say it is still, and now that I really think about it, is better than Aggressions Part 1 (boring!), Once Upon A Time (only half good, half rubbish), Unforgettable (not as good as I thought and the James orientation jokes were awful). So the rating's gotta be at least 8.
I've decided. 1 point removed from a perfect 10 score for the James and Seska fight as that does bug me a bit. Even the other issue I mentioned as a biggie can be explained away and may not be noticed. I only did after whatever number of read through's over 15 years, and that's probably cos I know Jessie since she's obviously my character. S1 persona, present day persona, both would want her being the villain gone first. Since she only growled a bit and never mentioned it again, somebody may read the episode and not come to the same conclusion or forget like I did for 15 years haha. So....
Marill's Rating: 9/10 (1st place but Collective Instinct is next. Don't worry Worse, it'll be a while before another challenger - Voyager Conspiracy - appears)
Exclaimed Count: 1 (90) A NEW RECORD EVERYONE AMAZING! DEFINITELY DESERVES ITS 9/10 RATING AND FIRST PLACE RANK
Muttered Count: 6 (176) I FEEL LIKE ADDING ANOTHER POINT TO ITS RATING FOR THIS. HOLY MOLY. I won't. Yet. *shifty eyes*
Motto Count: 0 (8)
Sexist crap against my own gender count: 0 (3)